If your daughter grew up to be rebellious, who are you to blame? Will you blame her for being rude to you? Will you blame her group of friends for influencing her to behave in such a way? Or would you blame yourself for not providing her with proper guidance?
These are serious questions to ponder.
Parents may have groomed their kids well.. Providing them with sufficient religious lessons, instilling the believes and way of life. They very well have showered the kids with love and affection. Buy them everything that they want. Cook or buy every single thing that they want to eat (even if it means going a distance just to get that particular meal). What they expect in return is just that the kids give them a little bit of respect.
Coming from a very laid back family, I don't see why you need to rotan your kids if they are a tad slow in doing their chores. Face it, their are just kids. I can't understand why you have to smash the PS2 when your kids are arguing over who gets to play what game. I can't accept the idea of throwing your daughter's handphone out of the car window when you found out that she's talking to a guy. You may have you reasons for doing all that, but the way you express your disagreement towards their actions are giving them the wrong messages.
To the kids, you are just meddling with their lives. When they are still young, they will accumulate the negative emotions caused by the anger you've inflicted on them. And when they've reached a certain age, the rebellious mode will be switched on. This is the time when they'll know no fear of the parents. Nothing the parent could say to change their minds. Nothing the parents could do to stop them from going out with the foreigner that they think they love.
In these type of situation, who are we to blame? Do we blame the parents or the kids?
I guess we can't just blame one party. However, don't you think it is like the "chicken and egg" situation here? I mean, if you analyse it, it will always point back to the parents. Hmmmm... tough eh. We can't say that the parents are the villain cause the kid is all grown up and has a mind of her own..
I've been approached by a worried mother this morning about her rebellious daughter (aged 18). She had seek for my help to advice the daughter, since the daughter really adores & look up to me. But, how am I suppose to meddle into their family problem. The best that I can do is talk to her about it and the rest is up to her. I can't force her to do what I tell her to do. I can't ask her to break-up with her foreigner boyfriend. I asked her to stop going to Zouq every week nights while her parents thinking that she's at her apartment in uni - studying.
The mother really hopes that I can knock some senses in the daughter's head. Although I know that I should try to relay the mother's message to the daughter, I don't feel that I can penetrate those thoughts deep into her. Knowing how teenager her age feels, those words would just go through one ear and comes out the other. Buang air liur aje.
Oh well... I do pray that the kid would not go beyond what is expected of her. Currently, she's been threatening to run away from home every time the subject is being discussed by the mother....... Aaaah... young girl following her first true love instinct... Susah.. susah...
No comments:
Post a Comment