We've talked for hours. From night till dawn, and from dawn till night. And what did we talked about? It didn't matter during those days... What matters was just listening to each other's voice. Listening to you plucking the guitar to my favourite tunes. Listening to you cracking up stupid jokes just to cheer me up. In deed it was not so surprising that I fell for you even though I tried my damned best to remain nonchalant. I didn't really know how you felt at that time, and was too afraid to ask. Afraid that it will spoil everything. Spoil the fairytale fun that we've created.
However, the charade that we've played didn't last long to see the daylight. It was interrupted by my confusion in the midst of the domestic war that had erupted. Hence, I've shut you out of my life.. so afraid of getting hurt again by a person that I care for. I realised that it was stupid of me to cut off all communication with you.. Sorry that I left you out in the dark. However, what was a helpless damsel suppose to do at time of distress.. Besides having to console other people in my life, I didn't have time to think about my own heart, my happiness. Family comes first.
Thus, our brief meeting today had brought back lots of memories.. I dare not look you in the eye, afraid of the emotions that will be naked in my eye (thank god you were wearing sunglasses *winks*). I know the moments had passed and I don't bare any romantic feelings towards you no more, but the thought of seeing you for the last time before you become someone else's husband was quite sad. And the thought that, after all these years, we still didn't even reveal our feelings for each other back then openly.
Your probing questions made me realised that that was the moment that I needed. I would just seize the day and just tell you how I felt back then. Despite the fact that I spent the whole time kicking myself under the table and blushing like mad, deep down I felt good. I know that I caught you by surprise with the revelation and was relieved that you took it well. I was expecting you to pack up and leave.. but you decided to talk about it. I should say that it was very mature of us to reminisce about those old times openly and not linger on it any longer. What you've said made me realised that I've wasted so many chances and opportunities to be happy. Thanks to you and the rest for kicking some senses into this "stone head" of mine. Yes, I've learnt my lessons.. and I would not let go of another opportunity to tell someone how I really feel.
And to you... Thanks for the memories.. It'll always stay close to my heart.. Promise that I will never dwell on it (no more what if questions.. yes..). Now you go ahead and be a loving husband to one lucky woman.
Binx: I never knew that cleaning up the emotional closet can be very taxing...
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