Lonely Ramadhan....

This might be my last post before Raya for I will be on leave from tomorrow til the next Sunday.. (saje jek nak emphasize that I cuti lama.. hehehe...)

So... It's almost the end of Ramadhan. It saddens me that I didn't get to enjoy it that much this year as I used to. I only managed to squeeze in 4 or 5 terawikh sessions this year. Terawikh used to be one of my favorite event during Ramadhan. Hence, I felt as if my Ramadhan this year is not complete.

On the other hand, this Ramadhan was the first Ramadhan in 8 years that I got to berbuka with the only grandma I have left at her house (my kampung) which I haven't visited since my parent's divorce. It kinda reminded me of the good old days where we used to go back a few days early before hari raya and make all the necessary preparation for the big day. It also made me realised that our lives had changed tremendously in the span on 8 years. Changes that had lead us on a separate course of life. Changes that had turned us all into strangers.

This Ramadhan also had witnessed me living my life in solitary. It was no doubt a lonely journey despite being around new surroundings and warm kind people. I chose to be alone, just to clear off my mind and soul. I needed the time away from all the problems that had been haunting me for the past few months. Have I found the peace that I seek for? Ntah laa....

It has been a long, adventurous and lonely Ramadhan for me. Am hoping that Syawal will emit some bright new hopes for me to continue my journey on this uncharted path.


How was your Ramadhan?

Selamat Hari Raya
&
Maaf Zahir Batin

to everyone that reads this stupid rambling space of mine...
May all of you have a blessed Syawal with your love ones...

binx: it's a lonely world...