I am beautiful...

I have always thought of myself as an ugly duckling, swimming amongst beautiful swans in the big pond. Lets face it, I am a plain Jane. I have always been a plain girl from small... Eh, correction.. I was rather tomboyish when I was small. With the short bob hair, boyish face, decked in t-shirt and shorts - a Chinese lady actually thought that I was a Leng Chai (a Chinese boy) when I was 7.

Even back in the early years in high school I was never the center of any guy's attention. However, guys were never on my mind pun back then. All I care about was to have fun. And I really did had fun during that time.

As I grow older, I then realised that taking care of one's appearance (a.k.a grooming) comes naturally for a girl. All of a sudden, one morning you wake up and have the sudden urge to comb your hair extra longer than usual, put on a little powder on the face, touch up the lips with some gloss and spray tiny bit of scent here and there before you are ready to face the world (the real one.. not Mawi). Why go through all these routine? Just to make yourself feel good.. It doesn't hurt to give yourself the uplifting spirit, a self-booster in order to tackle the challenging tasks that lies ahead kan?

I slowly begin to enjoy making myself look good. Now I always try to make that extra effort to at least look decent every time I go out. No, I don't do it to impress anyone but myself. Being a typical me, I will never acknowledge any praises that I receive (ahem.. not that I get it everyday pun), because deep down in my heart I still see the young tomboyish girl's reflection starring back at me every time I look into the mirror.

However, for the past few days I've been thrown out of balance by few comments made by people around me.. (get ready to puke... *lol*)


Perasan Moment #1
Scene: Side-walk burger stall -Had a sudden craving for a Ramly burger after class, last Saturday...

Binx: Dik, burger daging special satu...
Boy: Ok Kak...
Binx: Lama tak Dik?
Boy: Tak laa.. kejap je..
Boy: Baru balik tengok wayang ke Kak? (acknowledging my jacket)
Binx: Eh, tak.. baru habis class.
Boy: Eh, study lagi ke?
Binx: Ye laa.. Part time..
Boy: Huh? Akak dah keje ke? Ingat baru umur belas-belas aje
Binx: Belas-belas? Serious?
Boy: Ye laa.. Nampak macam baru habis SPM.. Muda..
Binx: *ahemm*


Perasan Moment #2

Scene: In the lift at 8.30 a.m. this morning

Lady 1: Ni mesti tak breakfast lagi.. (indicating to my tupperware of mee goreng)
Binx: Ha ah.. I'm hungry ni..
Lady 2: Takpe.. She's slim.. she can afford to eat any time she wants
Lady 1: Dah laa slim, tall pulak tuh... Plus pretty lagi..
Lady 1: You should go into modeling laa girl.. Buat part time ke..
Binx: errmm.. errmm.. Nah.. Not pretty..
Lady 2: Modest laa tuh..
Binx: *ahemm*

Perasan Moment #3

Scene: At my cubicle around 9.00 a.m. this morning. An accountant from a Subsidiary came to see the boss...

Ms. A: Is your boss in?
Binx: Ermm, she hasn't come in yet laa Ms. A..
Binx: Would you like to wait for her? B'coz she'll be in soon..
Ms. A: Nah.. It's OK. I just dropped by to say 'Hi'
Binx: Ok.. I'll tell her that you've dropped by yeah?
Ms. A: You're Binx, rite?
Binx: Yeah.. that's me..
Ms. A: My goodness girl.. You are as sweet in person as you sound on the phone..
(I have liased with her a few times through the phone)
Binx: *ahemm*

Perasan Moment #4:

Scene: Boss walks in and I've relayed Ms. A's message. Boss on the phone with Ms. A...

Boss: You came looking for me?
Boss: Yeah.. Binx told me...
Boss: Yeah.. sweet girl eh.. very pretty indeed...
Boss: That's what I've been saying to people..
Boss: She's like sugar attracting ants around here..
Boss: Uncle should have not sent pretty girl to work under me..
Boss: Now all the men likes to linger around here..
Boss: Yeah.. yeah.. (agreeing with Ms. A)
Boss: Yeah.. and she has great fashion sense too..
Boss: I love the way she dresses everyday...
Binx: (eavesdropping? nah.. people can hear her 1km away)
Binx: *ahemm* *blushed*



The last 3 comments had actually brighten my hazy Monday morning and had kept me in good mood for the rest of the day. Nah.. bukan perasan.. but once in a while it sure feels great to hear your own boss praising you as such. She's not the type that is very easy to please.

Those praises were just a show-off (*ahemm* *ahemm*).. Bila lagi Binx nak show-off like this.. Once in a blue moon aje tau.. Those are actually besides the point that I was trying to stress on... Iklan aje *winks*.

Being a few days short before I turn a year older, I realised that beauty is not something objective that you can judge clearly. It is skin deep. A person does not need to look pretty in order to feel pretty. A person's beautiful aura can transform a plain Jane into a stunning Jolie. Hah! Never in a million years laaa kan - not without cosmetic surgery. However, you get what I mean, rite?

So, I'm calling out to all girlfriends out there to stand tall and proud (not the show-off proud) and be confident of yourself. Looks are not important.. It is how you feel inside that counts. If you say that you are beautiful.. indeed you ARE!





Beautiful
by Christina Aguilera


Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, it's hard to breathe
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the fame, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone and the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words won't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words won't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...





binx: don't you just love tulips.. beautiful..