Lawak Bahasa....

Saya berasa sungguh hairan sekali apabila mendengar rakan-rakan setugas saya berbual di dalam bahasa Melayu. Saya berasa hairan kerana mereka semuanya bukan berketurunan Melayu. Tambahan pula, kami semua bekerja dengan sebuah syarikat yang beribu pejabat di London, dan juga bekerja mengikut waktu London dan sentiasa berurusan dengan pelanggan dari serata dunia menggunakan bahasa 'London' (nombor telefon kami juga adalah nombor London).

Mungkin kerana terpaksa berbahasa 'London' setiap masa, jadi mereka lebih senang menggunakan bahasa Melayu untuk bergurau senda. Tambahan pula, ia juga membuatkan mereka lebih senang untuk mengata atau melepaskan geram terhadap boss-boss dan trainer-trainer Mat Salleh yang duduk berhampiran.

Yang membuatkan saya gelak pecah perut ialah apabila mendengar mereka berbual menggunakan bahasa yang diterjemah langsung (betul ke terma nieh ek?) atau bak kata orang London - 'direct translation'.

Berikut adalah contoh-contoh perbualan mereka....


Perbualan 1

Orang 1: Eh engkau nieh jangan lar main saja.. buat kerja tuh! (Eh you.. don't play around.. do your work!)
Orang 2: Engkau tak tahu.. engkau diam ah.. Aku tengah TEKANAN nieh (You shut up la dude... I am pressured right now)


Perbualan 2

Orang 1: Kenapa ketuk-ketuk handphone tuh? (Why are you banging your handphone?)
Orang 2: Cuba kau tengok handphone ni... Screen dia tak KERJA laaa... (Take a look at the handphone.. The screen is not working laaa...)


Perbualan 3

Orang 1: Mamat tuh poyo laaa...
Orang 2: Dia tuh Trainer punya BINATANG PELIHARAAN (He's the Trainer's pet)


Perbualan 4

Orang 1: Nak chocolate tak?
Orang 2: Tak nak laa.. terima kasih
Orang 1: Eleh... awak nieh NAIK HARGA la...
Orang 3: Naik harga? Apa tuh?
Orang 1: Ye laa.. Orang offer, dia tak nak...
Orang 3: OOoooo... maksud awak... jual mahal ye?
Orang 1: Jual mahal... Naik harga... sama lar tuh....


Macam mana laa saya tak gelak hari-hari. Ada saja lawak yang mereka buat secara tidak sengaja.




binx: penat jadi orang 'London' nieh...

To shave or not to shave...

When I was young, the lil mischievous me had once used my dad's shaver and shaved part of my head and part of my eyebrow off. So, if you happened to meet a little girl with a small bald patch on her head with no eyebrow 25 years ago, that might have been me. :D

Fast forward to 25 years later, I have already mastered the usage of a shaver. hehehe... However, I no longer use it for shaving the head and eyebrow lar kan...

Where am I going with this post? Ok.. ok.. I'm getting to it.

For the past few years, I've noticed that I have a visible mustache (takde lar THAT visible macam a guy's mustache... but visible enough for people to point it out lar). Well, generally, everyone have a mustache. It's just a matter of it being visible or slightly not visible aje.

So, after a few people kept pointing it out, I felt really uncomfortable about it and tried to figure out a way to get rid of it.

My first thought was to just shave it away. However, I know that shaving can cause the hair to grow much thicker, hence, making it darker and easier for everyone to spot. Then, I tried searching through Yahoo! Answer (hahahaha... yes.. I actually did!) and had managed to come up with lots and lots of alternatives to shaving. And thanks to all the suggestions from the site, I finally opted to go for threading.

That was what I did yesterday. A quick drive to Bangsar, a few minutes wait, and a few seconds of pain, RM3 less and I emerged out from the store, mustache-less! hehehe....


Now... should I try the brazilian wax next? hahhaha... NOT!





binx: silky smooth....

You stink!

Outside GSC cinema....

Girl: Yang, ketiak you bau ke? (sniffing the guy's armpit)
Guy: Nope.. it's not me....
Girl: (glancing right and left) Then sapa?
Guy: (pointing to the right) Mamat belakang tiang nieh haa...
Girl: (intai-intiai) Ugghh... ooook... noted!
Guy: Hopefully he won't be watching the same movie lar rite..
Girl: I sure hope sooo...

The GIRL entered the movie hall alone since the GUY went to the Gents first. As she finally located their seats at the end of the hall and about to settle down, a group of guys came in and sat in the row in front of them. Much to her horror, the stinky armpit guy was amongst them!! Memang bau semerbak lar kan...

She took out her handphone and sent a S.O.S message to the GUY...
"Yang, mamat ketiak busuk is sitting in front of us!"

From the corner of her eye, she saw that the girl that was sitting next to her was trying her best to cover her nose. God! He stinks real bad ok.... They exchanged knowing glances and the girl next to her too noted that she was actually holding up her shawl over her nose.

Then another couple came in and sat exactly next to the Stinky Armpit Guy. The GIRL and the GUY wondered how the couple are going to survive throughout the 2 hour movie, breathing in the bad B.O. However, before the movie even started the couple made a smart move to jump a few rows in front (they were lucky that the hall was not full). The girl who sat next to the GIRL and the GUY, and her boyfriend, too had abandoned their seats (since they are sitting directly in front of the Stinky Armpit Guy).

All the while, the Stinky Armpit guy was oblivious to his surroundings. The GIRL can't imagine how can someone not notice that the people around him are going out of their way just to avoid breathing in his bad B.O. And how can his group of friends not say anything to him about his bad B.O?


Urrgghhh.......




peachy-smelling-binx: I hate B.O.!

101 emotions in one Binx

I am HAPPY that I finally have something to do to occupy my time, even though if that means that I have to travel almost 50 km everyday to do it.

I am DISAPPOINTED to find out that the organisation that I travel almost 50 km everyday to serve is actually squeezing people for cheap pay *sigh*. I should have known better than to accept the low pay that they offered me just so I can go for training in London. Even half of my teammates are looking for opportunities to expand their career elsewhere.

I am EXCITED to get a call from an ex-colleague about a new job opportunity. If I get it I'll get a chance to work alongside her once again. It will be just like the old days, only in a slightly different setting and organisation.

I am SURPRISED that I can get along so well with my teammates at work. It is as if I've known them for years and not just one week.

I am WORRIED that I can't balance my debits and credits this month. It really shudders me to think about the huge amount that's going to appear on my credit card statement at the end of the month. HELP!

I LOVE spending time with him, even if it means just a few minutes during break or after work.

I HATE feeling emotional when ever the thought of someone crosses my mind. Why do I have to get all teary-eyed every time I think about that person? It is not as if that person ever think about me.

I am GLAD that we are moving soon. I just hope we can start fresh and only good things will come our way after this.

I am SAD to learn about another misfortune that had befallen my uncle's family. They had gone through so much and I think that this is by far the worse test that they have had to go through. I just hope that they will be strong to face what ever that Allah has in store for them.

I am CURIOUS as to how a person can be so materialistic that she can betray her husband and neglect her own kid. How can she go out with another man just because he lavishes her with a BMW, Ferragamo shoes, LV bags, diamonds and jeweleries and a partnership deal to his company? She's a wife and a mother, for God's sake!! I am so EMBARRASSED to admit that she's family.



How are YOU feeling today?




binx: can I NOT feel anything?

Meet the parents...

I always knew that I will have to meet his parents one day. However, I didn't expect it to be last weekend!

Caught off guard, I was extremely nervous and wished that I could go back home and change instead of meeting them wearing my dirty jeans and t-shirt (we just got back from our weekend trip to Kuantan). So nak tak nak terpaksa lar jugak masuk.

Surprisingly, it was not as bad as I imagined it would be. Although his dad grilled me with so many questions (a lot a lot i tell youuuu), I actually enjoyed that 2 and a half hours that I was detained there.

Being around such lovely family never cease to make me feel sad. I just can't help thinking about what it would be like if my dad was around, living under the same roof. All the "what if" questions haunted me on my journey back home that night. Somehow I know I will never get the answer to those questions... ever...

So... I've survived the meeting in one piece. Will there be other meetings in the future? Well, we will just have to wait and see...




binx: still ketaq lutut...

I LOVE coffee in the morning...

Things at the new office are not as bad as I've described in my previous post. I mean, those things that I've mentioned are all true. However, there are perks and other interesting things to look forward to once you've passed the security check at the main entrance.

One thing that I love most about the new place is that you can get a hot cup of coffee at any time of the day on every floor of the building and at every corner of each floor. That is super great for an addict like me! Plus they even have a sandwich bar on one of the floors where you can just hang out during short breaks to grab a bite or just relax and watch some good TV.

The bright and chirpy environment is a huge contrast from what I have experienced at my previous company. Let's just hope the working attitude and culture are different too. I don't think I can tolerate another round of being pushed and bullied around without gaining anything at the end of the day, accept for headaches and heartaches.

I am still undergoing the induction session till the end of the week. Hence, I really can't say much about the new job. Plus, with all the data security and restrictions, I don't think I'll be able to blog much about work anyway (thank god!).


Oh yeah... Did I mentioned that Mr Judge works just across the street? *winks*




binx: shrek is back...!!!

The day I lost my freedom...

The alarm shrilled at about 4.45 a.m.


Got ready and left the house by 5.20 a.m.


Boarded the bus at 5.35 a.m. (yeah.. I now take a bus to work... it's not the public bus though).


Arrived at the new office at 6.00 a.m. And the induction started at 7 a.m.!!!


The minute I set foot in the building I knew that things will never be the same again.


You might think that I'm just being my usual drama queen self... but trust me.. I am NOT exaggerating.

Firstly, we all had to surrender our handphones at the guard station because handphones are not allowed into the operations area (actually other devices such as cameras, mp3s, ipods, etc. are not allowed as well). We can only use the handphones during breaks outside of the operations area... So guys, I hope you'll understand if I don't pick up your calls or reply your text messages during office hour (well, MY office hour that is... hehehe).

Then there's the tight security check at the entrance door of the operations area. All bags must be checked upon entering and exiting the area. I really felt as if I've entered a prison this morning as I went through all the security check points. Maybe masuk jail pun tak seteruk tuh kut...

Then there's all the barriers that you have to go through in order to get from one door to another. You can't enter a single door without swiping your ID tag on the security panel-thingy (what do you call that black thing again?). Since it was our first day, the trainer. who had conducted the induction session, had to beep us in and out of the doors. He even had to beep the guys in and out for their ciggie breaks.

Then there's the thing about no internet access on the operations floor. %^@$#!#$%%#@... Seriously! They have few dozens computer terminals on the ground floor that you can use (during your breaks, of course), should you have the urge to check your personal emails, browse the net, read blogs, or even chat. *sigh*


Really... What have I gotten myself into?


More stories later. I need to catch the 5.35 a.m. bus tomorrow morning for another day of induction *sigh*





binx: thank god for COFFEE...!