I am so exhausted... (
what else is new?)
I am so stressed-out...
I even had to work yesterday, on my Mom's birthday! I had to missed out on the trip to an orphanage in Klang, where Mom and her entourage had planned out a day with the orphan kids. I was even watching the clock furiously in the morning, as I waited for my two sisters and Mom to come down to hand Mom her birthday gift! I felt so terrible for having to rush off right after she opened her gift. Why do I ever have to put my work ahead of my family?
So I tried to make up for my absence by treating them dinner at the Victoria Station (
Mom's favorite steak joint). And surprisingly, I managed to forget all the work problems and datelines for that brief moment. We dined, laughed and crack stupid jokes... We even sang the birthday song along with the rest of the restaurant crew as
Mom and Lil Sis' boyfriend (
also Mom's birthday mate) blew their candles.
Everything went well for the evening. The problem only starts after dinner...
While I was having my luxurious shower (
it has been a while since I've taken a long shower), my tummy started to ache. It was as if there were 2 sharp needles poking through my lower abdomen. Sakit giler! I couldn't even stand/sit straight. The pain came every 5 minutes or so and will subside for a 5-10 minutes interval.
Since I have promised the Beast that I will try to finish up the deferred tax consol over the weekend, I gathered my strength to sit up at the dining table and finish up the pending work. However, the pain kept coming back every 5-10 minutes.
Hence, with the help of my Sis, I went to the nearest hospital to get it checked. At first the doctor thought that it could be a urine infection. But the urine test came out negative (
normal). Then he ruled out 101 possibilities for my upset tummy. He said it is difficult especially for women to determine what is exactly wrong. So, he just gave me a pain killer and 1 day MC in order for me to rest. Should the pain come again in the next 24 hrs, I must go in for a thorough scan (
ultrasound).
Thus, here I am, in bed, on a Monday - typing away on my blog - while my boss is anxiously waiting for my deferred tax schedule (
which I don't think I can finish up by the end of the day). So far I have only received 2 calls from the office, just wanting to know where I have put my finalised consol accounts. I have sent out an email to the Beast last night (
12.30 am) to inform her that I will be on MC today. And another email was forwarded to all the Group accountants to ask them to check and amend their work so that by the time I get in the office on Tuesday, everything will be ready for me to continue my hard struggle (
I doubt it!).
During my long hours in the office, I kept asking myself whether all my efforts are worth getting sick over? All the long hours; the hard labour; the tormented feeling after being screamed at for something that is not at all your fault; the difficulty to maintain your ever-weakening composure so as not to show any signs of defeat; and the struggle to overcome the fatigue from working around the clock for 14 days in a row are slowly killing my spirit. I really don't know how long I can put up the pretense before I crack under pressure and starts to scream in protest.
Knowing me, I will forever hold my peace and just carry on being pushed and stepped on.
*sigh* April seems like an eternity....
binx: thanks for all the hugs guys... (((((HUGS))))) you back!
