101 emotions in one Binx

I am HAPPY that I finally have something to do to occupy my time, even though if that means that I have to travel almost 50 km everyday to do it.

I am DISAPPOINTED to find out that the organisation that I travel almost 50 km everyday to serve is actually squeezing people for cheap pay *sigh*. I should have known better than to accept the low pay that they offered me just so I can go for training in London. Even half of my teammates are looking for opportunities to expand their career elsewhere.

I am EXCITED to get a call from an ex-colleague about a new job opportunity. If I get it I'll get a chance to work alongside her once again. It will be just like the old days, only in a slightly different setting and organisation.

I am SURPRISED that I can get along so well with my teammates at work. It is as if I've known them for years and not just one week.

I am WORRIED that I can't balance my debits and credits this month. It really shudders me to think about the huge amount that's going to appear on my credit card statement at the end of the month. HELP!

I LOVE spending time with him, even if it means just a few minutes during break or after work.

I HATE feeling emotional when ever the thought of someone crosses my mind. Why do I have to get all teary-eyed every time I think about that person? It is not as if that person ever think about me.

I am GLAD that we are moving soon. I just hope we can start fresh and only good things will come our way after this.

I am SAD to learn about another misfortune that had befallen my uncle's family. They had gone through so much and I think that this is by far the worse test that they have had to go through. I just hope that they will be strong to face what ever that Allah has in store for them.

I am CURIOUS as to how a person can be so materialistic that she can betray her husband and neglect her own kid. How can she go out with another man just because he lavishes her with a BMW, Ferragamo shoes, LV bags, diamonds and jeweleries and a partnership deal to his company? She's a wife and a mother, for God's sake!! I am so EMBARRASSED to admit that she's family.



How are YOU feeling today?




binx: can I NOT feel anything?

Meet the parents...

I always knew that I will have to meet his parents one day. However, I didn't expect it to be last weekend!

Caught off guard, I was extremely nervous and wished that I could go back home and change instead of meeting them wearing my dirty jeans and t-shirt (we just got back from our weekend trip to Kuantan). So nak tak nak terpaksa lar jugak masuk.

Surprisingly, it was not as bad as I imagined it would be. Although his dad grilled me with so many questions (a lot a lot i tell youuuu), I actually enjoyed that 2 and a half hours that I was detained there.

Being around such lovely family never cease to make me feel sad. I just can't help thinking about what it would be like if my dad was around, living under the same roof. All the "what if" questions haunted me on my journey back home that night. Somehow I know I will never get the answer to those questions... ever...

So... I've survived the meeting in one piece. Will there be other meetings in the future? Well, we will just have to wait and see...




binx: still ketaq lutut...

I LOVE coffee in the morning...

Things at the new office are not as bad as I've described in my previous post. I mean, those things that I've mentioned are all true. However, there are perks and other interesting things to look forward to once you've passed the security check at the main entrance.

One thing that I love most about the new place is that you can get a hot cup of coffee at any time of the day on every floor of the building and at every corner of each floor. That is super great for an addict like me! Plus they even have a sandwich bar on one of the floors where you can just hang out during short breaks to grab a bite or just relax and watch some good TV.

The bright and chirpy environment is a huge contrast from what I have experienced at my previous company. Let's just hope the working attitude and culture are different too. I don't think I can tolerate another round of being pushed and bullied around without gaining anything at the end of the day, accept for headaches and heartaches.

I am still undergoing the induction session till the end of the week. Hence, I really can't say much about the new job. Plus, with all the data security and restrictions, I don't think I'll be able to blog much about work anyway (thank god!).


Oh yeah... Did I mentioned that Mr Judge works just across the street? *winks*




binx: shrek is back...!!!

The day I lost my freedom...

The alarm shrilled at about 4.45 a.m.


Got ready and left the house by 5.20 a.m.


Boarded the bus at 5.35 a.m. (yeah.. I now take a bus to work... it's not the public bus though).


Arrived at the new office at 6.00 a.m. And the induction started at 7 a.m.!!!


The minute I set foot in the building I knew that things will never be the same again.


You might think that I'm just being my usual drama queen self... but trust me.. I am NOT exaggerating.

Firstly, we all had to surrender our handphones at the guard station because handphones are not allowed into the operations area (actually other devices such as cameras, mp3s, ipods, etc. are not allowed as well). We can only use the handphones during breaks outside of the operations area... So guys, I hope you'll understand if I don't pick up your calls or reply your text messages during office hour (well, MY office hour that is... hehehe).

Then there's the tight security check at the entrance door of the operations area. All bags must be checked upon entering and exiting the area. I really felt as if I've entered a prison this morning as I went through all the security check points. Maybe masuk jail pun tak seteruk tuh kut...

Then there's all the barriers that you have to go through in order to get from one door to another. You can't enter a single door without swiping your ID tag on the security panel-thingy (what do you call that black thing again?). Since it was our first day, the trainer. who had conducted the induction session, had to beep us in and out of the doors. He even had to beep the guys in and out for their ciggie breaks.

Then there's the thing about no internet access on the operations floor. %^@$#!#$%%#@... Seriously! They have few dozens computer terminals on the ground floor that you can use (during your breaks, of course), should you have the urge to check your personal emails, browse the net, read blogs, or even chat. *sigh*


Really... What have I gotten myself into?


More stories later. I need to catch the 5.35 a.m. bus tomorrow morning for another day of induction *sigh*





binx: thank god for COFFEE...!

Tanam anggur no more...

I shall be re-joining the rat race as of 7 a.m today...

binx: *shivers*

Hold my hand...

I get all misty eyed after spotting an elderly couple, hand in hand, walking into the exhibition hall where I was on duty yesterday. They were both very sick, with the husband helping the wife to take one step at a time. To me, that is TRUE LOVE.


I hope I'll get to experience that kind of love one day...

Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
Ill take you to the promised land
Hold my hand
Maybe we cant change the world but
I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can

~Hootie & The Blowfish~

binx: have a great weekend, people!

Layers and layers of BINX

Exam's over and now it's time to do the long-awaited tag from Mrs Fairy GodMother


Layer One: On the Outside

Name: BINX
Birth date: 15th August 1979 (dah bagitau kena bagi present tau!)
Current status: Single but not available (really...?)
Eye colour: Dark brown
Hair colour: Brownish + white
Righty / Lefty: Righty

Layer Two: On the Inside

Your heritage: Jawa + Bugis on Dad's side, Malay + Siam on Mom's side = Rojak JaBuMaSi
Your fears: Not clearing the exam that I just sat for earlier today
Your weakness: coffee... hot brewing coffee...
Your perfect pizza: with loads of pepperoni and cheese... oh and thin crust

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your thoughts first thing when you wake up: I need coffee!
Your bedtime: very late.. which will suit my new job perfectly ;)
Your most missed memory: during school days when the only concern was to get to school on time and make sure that the homeworks are completed... *sigh*

Layer Four: Your Pick

Pepsi or Coke: no preference since I don't really take soft drinks that much except for 100 Plus
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
Single or Group Dates: Single would be best but I don't really mind going out in groups
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Tea or Nestea: what's the difference? I prefer hot tea... if flavoured, I LOVE Starbuck's Tazzo Passion Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappucino or Coffee: COFFEE of course...

Layer Five: Do You

Smoke: Nope
Curse: Yeah... but not that often. My swearing vocabs are quite limited actually...
Take a shower: I try to whenever I can... hahaha.. a friend can vouch me on this... (you know who you are...)
Have a crush: Definitely...! On Adam Sandler... *drools* and Ako Mustaffa *drools*
Think you've been in love: define love... maybe...
Go to school: Yeah of course...
Want to get married: Who doesn't?
Believe in yourself: Absoutely... just that the degree had dwindled over the last year. But it's regaining as we speak...
Think you're a health freak: Absolutely NOT!

Layer Six: In the Past Month

Drank alcohol: Nope
Gone to the mall: Every other day
Been on stage: Nope
Eaten sushi: Definitely not... I hate sushi... yucks!
Dyed your hair: Nope... I dyed it last in March

Layer Seven: Have You Ever

Played a stripping game: Nope
Changed who you were to fit in: Yeah, and I hated it...

Layer Eight: Age

You're hopping to be married: before I reach 30?

Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy

Best eye colour: dark brown
Best hair colour: dark brown
Short hair/Long hair: extremely short or even better - bald! *drools*

Layer Ten: What were you doing

1 min ago: answering this tag
1 hour ago: finishing off the final question of the exam and wishing that that will be the last time I'll be sitting for the paper...
1 year ago: did exactly the same as above since I didn't pass the May 2006 sitting... *sigh* (bila lar nak habis nieh?)

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence

I love: the smell of coffee in the morning
I feel: tired since I've spent the last 3 hours writing non-stop for the exam and now I'm spending more time answering this very long tag
I hate: the fact that I can't solve all my problems all at one go
I need: an all-expense-paid shopping spree!


Done! Now I'm off to bed...


p/s: 3 more visitors and the stat counter will read 44,444... cool!




binx: it's time to celebrate!