Aimless drive...

Took a long drive tonight - an aimless one. I didn't have any specific destination in mind, but I know I just needed to be outside.

One would think that after the 40 km drive, One would finally feel normal again. However, I returned home with the same feeling that I felt before.

*sigh*

I just hope that the trip to Singapore this weekend will do me good...

binx: i'm going crazy....!

Blue Eyes Blue

Last weekend, during my movie marathon, I've stumbled upon this song while watching Runaway Bride.. Ahhh.. I almost forgot how beautiful the song is.. It never ceased to make me shed a tear.

Enjoy!

I thought that you'd be loving me.
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever.
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone.

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you who made the tears fall down.
It was you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

I thought that I'd be all you need.
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven.
And now my heaven's gone away
And I'm out in the cold.

'Cause you had me believing,
You had me believing in a lie.
Guess I couldn't see it,
I guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye.

Chorus

'Cause you were only playing,
You were only playing with my heart.
I was never waiting,
I was never waiting for the tears to start.

It was you who put the clouds around me.
It was you.

It was you who put those clouds around me.
It was you who made those tears fall down.
Only you who broke my heart in pieces.
It was you, it was you who made my blue eyes blue.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.
Oh, I never should have trusted you.

binx: *sob* *sob*

Old habits die hard...

Habits help us through the day, eliminating the need to strategize about each tiny step involved in making a frothy latte, driving to work and other complex routines. Bad habits, though, can have a vice grip on both mind and behavior. Notoriously hard to break, they are devilishly easy to resume, as many reformed smokers discover.

Everyone have their own sets of bad habits. Face it, no one is born perfect... Some love to smoke, some likes to bite their nails, some love to pick their nose while driving, some just love to scratch their crotch while in full view of others, and etc.


What are my bad habits?


1. I love to pull out damaged hairs while watching tv or reading a book

Not damaged hairs laa kut.. I like to call it 'rambut gatal'.. These are the swirly, squigly kinda hair that are irritatingly growing amongst the rest of my straight long mane. And playing with the hair and trying to pull it out can be very relaxing especially while watching the tv...

Result of habit: Some bald spots on the scalp


2. I like to pay my credit card bill in full on time

I know this might seem like a good habit instead of bad. However, why I say that it's a bad habit is that I will get agitated whenever I can't meet the payment dateline and have to pay only a minimum amount for the month. Whenever I receive my bill, I will feel suffocated and start to worry as if the world is going to collapse on me whereas the total amount is not even close to the card limit or even reach half of the limit. I just don't like to be in debt. Hence, that is why I prefer to use the charge card instead of the credit card.

Result of habit: Constant migrain or gastric if I can't make the payment on time


3. When I'm pissed, I will be a woman with very little words

This only happens when I am really pissed and can't tolerate any more of the other person. I can remain silent for days... During this period of silence, it is appreciated that the other person just keep their distance. Trying to crack stupid jokes usually will only irritates me further. Just have to let me cool it off on my own and then things will resume back to normal.

Result of habit: The other person tend to get irritated with my silence and go the opposite way...


4. When I drive, I like my music to be loud

Not loud as in rock hard core music. Just that the volume of the radio must be between 20 to 30.. That kind of loud.. It just feels better that way. Then only can I enjoy the songs and usually sing along to it. Ahhh.. the joy of driving away to good tunes.. heavenly... However, I can only do this when I am alone in the car because when there is a passenger and conversation is required, then I will have to turn the volume down la kan.

Result of habit: My lil' sis calls me a 'jinjang' whenever she hears the 'dung dang dung dang' music coming from my car


Bad habits are hard to kill... It's like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. However strong the resistance will be, one can slip back into it within a blink of an eye.

So, what are your bad habits?




binx: *cabut rambut gatal*

The bitter me...

I think I might have eaten or drank something over the last few days that had made me turned bitter... Rage suddenly took over my body and I just lash out whenever someone try to strike a chord...

Does anyone have cure for this? Help, I'm hurting inside...




binx: "that girl is poison........."

Pick me, choose me, love me...

Video source: A clip from an episode of Grey's Anatomy

Straight and simple! Wish real life is as simple as that.

I have always admired women who can confess their true feelings like Meredith did to Dr. McDreamy. This is because I can never get the courage to actually tell someone that I like him. Never!

I can't say that I didn't try to muster the courage. I did try. I tried dropping hints, and knowing how blur guys can be.. they just don't get it. However, when the right moment came for me to blurt out those obvious words, somehow the guy would say something first that will make me chicken out. Then I will end up kicking myself under the table for being so foolish and for not confessing earlier.

Once, I tried to tell a guy how I truly felt and was first welcomed with news that he just met the girl of his dreams - not me of course... That's what you get for being totally secretive of your feelings. It felt like he had just put a knife through my heart (Binx the drama queen!)...


How did you guys do it? Do share your confession stories...




binx: no i'm not in love..

Fit or unfit....?

I have always thought that I was fit... Well, not fit 'fit'.. but yeah.. fit. Despite the fact that I don't go to the gym nor do I play any specific sports, I still thought that I was fit. Fit enough to carry out normal routine without breaking down.

Oh was I wrong....

Since I have been getting period cramps for the past two months (I rarely get cramps all these while), I thought I might have been lacking some exercise. When I was working in the office, I'd get some exercise just by going to and fro from the printer or the photocopier to get the printouts. Hence, there was no time for cramps. Plus the long walk to the car park can be considered as a form of exercise, right?

So I thought I should try and exercise a little just to avoid getting those painful cramps again the next time around.


Attempt #1

I thought it would be fun to take my little cousins out cycling last friday evening, since it's school holiday and all. Went to their house, but failed to tear them away from their daily dosage of Cartoon Network. So I set out cycling around their block all alone. Borrowed their bike because I no longer own one of my own (the last time I rode a bike would be in form 3).

Cycled for about 10 minutes and I was already out of breath. I tried to ignore the burning sensation in my lungs and kept on cycling. However, after hitting the brakes the back tyre seemed to be stuck and refused to budged. I tried paddling harder but it made me even more tired than before. So I called it quits after the 20th minute.

Even the two boys were surprised that I showed up again in front of their door so soon.


Attempt #2

After I have finally caught my breath, my uncle came back from work and asked me to coaxed the boys to play outside. He suggested badminton. Hmmm.. it has been ages since I have held a badminton racket. So I agreed, with the loud whine and moan from the boys of course.

4 rounds of serves and I was already panting. And the worse part is, those two boys didn't even break a sweat! Urghh.... I am so not fit.....


Attempt #3

Since cycling and badminton doesn't help, I thought I'll just settle for brisk walking. I have always enjoyed walking, especially at the nearby park. So when Mom suggested that we go to the local pasar malam to get our food supply, I said OK without any hesitation (usually I would give her all the excuses just as long as I don't have to go).

The pasar malam has just shifted its location to a new area. Hence, we have to actually circle the whole area in order to get from the fresh food supplies to the ayam percik corner. So I thought it would be a good workout for me. Plus, since parking was hard to find, we ended walking even further just to get to the pasar.

Half way through the crowded pasar, with few load of bags in my hands, I was already out of breath. And to make it worse, my shoulders hurt terribly since I had to carry all those bags full of heavy fruits and food (my hands are not that strong now after I slammed my shoulders into the cliff while trying to abseil during OBS). I am still massaging the hands and shoulder right now...


3 unsuccessul attempts.. and I am officially unfit!


So I guess I will just have to settle for the daily walk at the local park from now on... Anyone wanna join me?




binx: pancit...!

Working from home...

picture source: IKEA 2006 catalogue

Everyone wishes that they could just stay home and not go to work... However, life is not that simple eh.. You would still have to earn a living in order to pay for the house in the first place. Unless you are a VVIP's son or daughter that doesn't need to work and still gets 'pocket money' from Mom & Dad.

Well, for the past month, I have had the luxury of staying home and not go out to work. No, it's not because I am a VVIP's daughter and gets 'pocket money' from Dad... It's because I work from home!

I have everything that I need here at home, except a proper workstation and chair though. I have wi-fi broadband access that connects me to the world 24/7; all-in-one printer that acts as the fax, scanner and photocopier; my brand new notebook; the kitchen; the sofa; and most importantly the TV... hehehe... We are still working on designing a proper workstation. However, for now the dining table is my current domain. I do have a table all set-up for me to work, but the work area is too stuffy and the lighting is too dim for my comfort..

You would think that Binx is so damn lucky to be working from home.. Yeah, maybe I am.. However, there are some pros and cons to the situation.


The Pros...

... no more early morning rush hours and clocking in 5 - 15 mins late due to the traffic

... you can start work at anytime you desire (but I am trying to discipline myself to start work by 9 - am still working on the bearings though - what can I say... sleep is bliss.. hehehe)

... you can go to work wearing anything you desire - no dress codes (you work in your jeans, t-shirt, shorts, sleeveless, or even go bra-less if you want to)

... flexible working hours - just as long as you get the work done

... you can spend time on the internet during 'working hours' - blogging, chatting or even downloading your favourite shows - without worrying about the office firewall and the IT people monitoring your every move


The Cons...

... your Mom is your boss - if she's mad because you didn't do the dishes, it is gonna affect your work for the whole day or even the whole week for that matter

... you don't get to hear anymore juicy gossip about your co-workers - because your only co-worker is your boss

... the clients come and go as they please since it is a 'home office', there is no official 'working hours' - leads to visits from client at the most inappropriate time

... you don't get to meet people that much, since you don't even get out of the house - reduces the opportunity to get yourself a date for a friday night movie


Well, I guess the pros out weights the cons. Plus, I really have to make this work, regardless everything. I promised myself that I am not going to go back to the corporate world. Worse comes to worse, I still have the restaurant project to fall back on, which reminds me that I need to start checking out on the available entrepreneurial courses...

Back to Google now...





binx: this is life...