Ok before I start renting, I would like to say that I love my in-laws (ILs). They welcome me to their family with open heart and treat me like their own daughter.
However, I am really frustrated by the fact that we have to go back to my ILs every single weekend!
We work 5 days a week and weekend is the time we kick back and rest, after we clean up the house, do the laundry & ironing of course.
I can safely say that since we had Noah, we have been going back to my ILs every single weekend (except maybe 3-4 times where I managed to come up with excuses not to go back). It is really taxing for us to be rushing back on Friday nights and coming back to our house on Sunday nights (usually after 10p.m.).
Why do we go back? Coz Noah is their 1st grandson and they wish to see him every weekend. And coz MIL refuse to learn the way to our house so we have to go back.
Our phones will be ringing/beeping with sms by Friday night with MIL asking what time we will be arriving that night. Or if we don't get anything from her on Friday night, it will be the 1st thing Saturday morning. I am not kidding you!
I think this arrangement has got to stop before I go beserk!
Let me tell you what happened last weekend.
We went to IKEA last Friday night for dinner and to get some stuffs for the house. Half way through dinner, Mr Judge got a call from MIL asking us what time we will be arriving. So, the good son replied that we will be arriving slightly late as we are out for dinner. Once arrived at the ILs, MIL asked us what took us so long to arrive and pitty that the grandson had fallen asleep (we arrived close to 11 p.m.). Shortly after we had settled down, MIL announced that she won't be around the next day (Saturday) coz she has classes and other programmes at her uni.
That was a blow to me. I mean, if you are not going to be around, why rush us to go back early. You could have told us to come Saturday evening instead rite? But that was not the worse part....
Saturday evening, MIL casually announced that she has classes the next day! WOW! Talk about sellfishness... I mean, if you are not going to be around at all during the weekend, why ask us to come in the 1st place. She could have just told us to come over for dinner (we would have obliged to it gladly coz there were tons of laudry waiting to be washed at home).
I was seriously bengang last weekend. I was not angry at her for wanting to see her grandson, but I was angry that she didn't think of us and that we also have our own seperate lives to go back to. If she thought about it all, she would understand when we say that we have chores to finish before we can go back to see her. She would understand when on certain weekends, we just want to stay home and rest.
Call me a bad DIL... but will you feel the same way if you are in my shoe?
binx: *sigh*
3 comments:
Babes
i would feel the same was if i was in your shoes
so, you should talk to your husband
seriously
awal2 tu memang la sakit skt tapi kalau tak try, takkan tahu the outcome
both of you must then sit down and speak with your PILs
guna cara paling lembut
tak try tak dpt hasil, tak communicate ntah2 diorang pun tak tahu
you cannot expect they all paham what you feel if you don't tell them
you must negotiate sket, bukannya derhaka
lagi baik balik dengan keadaan happy and gembira, once every fortnight or so, after finding out the in-laws plans (ada ke tak etc)
daripada balik pestu merungut and tak puas hati every week, pestu penat pulak tu
bila pulak you spend quality time dengan noah? apart from the daily ones, you balik dah penat bagai?
and then set the dates nak balik
be firm about it
and stick to those schedules
show your commitment
all the best ok?
kadang2 kena be a little bit brave to get what you want
btw making up excuses will make matters worse coz you'll run out of them!
just be truthful
but both of you must have a pact on this, and must agree with each other first, before going to speak with the ILs ya?
mama_QnR:
thanks for the suggestions... i guess u are right.. will try to sit down and talk to PILs and also will try to set dates to balik and visit them..
at times i really wish we are away from Malaysia so that we don't feel obliged to go back every weekends... but then again, being too far away susah la pulak kan..
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